literature

Love

Deviation Actions

yaoi4eva666's avatar
By
Published:
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Literature Text

Like crumbling leaves on the ground in Autumn
My life has fallen away
Misery and torture seem the only way
Until i saw you my love
The savior of my life
Made for each other
Like pieces in a puzzle
You saved me from the darkness inside
© 2014 - 2024 yaoi4eva666
Comments17
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BrokenDemise's avatar
G-W FEEDBACK:

1) I love your choice of words for this poem.
2) For this poem, I think trying that lower-case thing I mentioned could help out. Basically, just make the first letter of each line that continues what would be a sentence lower-case.
3) ex: "Like crumbling leaves on the ground in Autumn
            my life has fallen away"
4) Overall, I think it looks nice as it is.
5) Rating: 4.5